When I start talking about balance, I mean all kinds of balance. Physical, emotional, spiritual. This is coming up because I visited my new analyst (Psy.D) yesterday. I’m realizing that there are things that I’m not balanced about and that I need to work on, emotionally. I’m strong in all other aspects. I’ve discussed at length my emotional difficulties on all of my blogs. I admit it because I’m open and although not proud of it, I show people that I’m fighting a monster and winning. My new analyst uses a technique called neurofeedback which isn’t covered by my insurance, but I might pay for out of pocket just to see if it would have benefits. It helps A LOT of problems. The doctor said he had a head injury that left him barely functional and he used neurofeedback and it saved him. He used to work in a Supermax facility, but couldn’t do it anymore and decided to help other non-criminal people. We talked about everything. It was over an hour. He asked if I thought he was a fit and I thought so.
So, emotional well being is very important to me. It should be important to all competent magicians. Some people say you “can’t be crazy and practice magic correctly.” Well, you can if you have medication or are in good condition. I do not recommend any kind of magic for anyone who is crazy and unmedicated, however. I’m not conventionally crazy. Just off kilter sometimes. I’m balanced spiritually for sure, otherwise my magic wouldn’t work. It does work well. And I’m well enough to practice it, otherwise my godfather would tell me to stop. He knows me well.
Someone out there is jealous. I got warnings recently. I have no idea who would have problems with me. I try to be the same to everyone, but I do make outbursts of furious anger sometimes, directed at some people I don’t even know. May seem unbalanced.
I am a bit hypervigilant, to use a word. Due to PTSD. I’m a complex magician. I have a lot of experience in life. I’m not far from being 40 years old. I don’t think “black magicians” are cursing me. Maybe someone puts up blocks on me but those are easily removed by me or my godfather. I have a fierce godfather who really takes care of me. In my house, we are blessed with warrior energy. And a lot of it.